Gordy Gumshoe Goodness
by Jove's Boy
Summary: There's never a dull moment in the Gumshoe family, especially with a two-year old boy on the loose! Join the good detective Dick Gumshoe, his wife Maggey Byrde, and their son Gordy, as they have fantastic adventures and create mischief - as only the Gumshoe family can. Featuring cameos from various Ace Attorney characters.
1. Prologue: Little Boy Wonder

_I present to you the fully-edited second edition of_ "Gordy Gumshoe Goodness," _a series of fun-filled adventures featuring Gordy Gumshoe, the first-born son of Dick & Maggey Gumshoe! I'd like to give a very appreciative shout-out to **JordanPhoenix**_ ("Turnabout Everlasting," Double DILF Doodies") _for allowing and encouraging me to use this character._

 _Apart from a few minor changes here and there, the main purpose of this edit is to place the episodes in chronological order. I went into this story not intending to establish a continuity; it was only to be a series of drabbles. It really is cool how a story can take on a life of its own, isn't it?_

 _Reviews are appreciated!_

* * *

** Prologue ** _  
_ **LITTLE BOY WONDER**

 _February 6, 2022_

The delicious aroma of dinner on the stove stirred Dick Gumshoe's senses as he stepped through the front door of his Los Angeles condo.

"Honey! I'm home!" Gumshoe announced in his booming voice, perfectly aware of how _painfully blasé_ he sounded yet knowing perfectly well that his wife loved it. _It's just another one of my endearing character traits_ , he thought.

"Dinner's almost ready, dear," Maggey Gumshoe answered from the kitchen. "I made your favorite!"

"Mmmm!" said Gumshoe, setting his briefcase on the floor. He loosened his tie and tugged it off with one hand. He had just moved to take off and hang up his long overcoat when he heard a high-pitched squeal, followed by the sound of bare feet running down the hall. _It's just like clockwork_ , thought the burly police chief. _Three, two, one_ … and he was nearly knocked over as his two-year old son bowled into him.

Which was really saying something, seeing as how Dick Gumshoe himself was built like a tank and could more than likely lift his two closest friends—defense attorney Phoenix Wright and prosecuting attorney Miles Edgeworth, both _grown men_ —by the scruffs of their necks _without even breaking a sweat_.

(Gumshoe secretly hoped that Wright and Edgeworth would give him the perfect excuse to do that someday!)

With an exaggerated grunt, Gumshoe quickly wrapped his coat around the little boy, who crowed with laughter. "What's going on here?!" he laughed. " _Something's_ found its way into my coat!"

"Daddy, Daddy!"

"I wonder what it is!" The detective boomed, fully enjoying his little game. "Is it a little puppy?"

"No no, not puppy!"

" _Not a puppy?!_ " Gumshoe exclaimed in mock outrage. "Are you sure about that? Maybe it's a _big, scary monster_ instead, pal!" He let out a roar, sending the little boy into near-hysterics.

"No monster! Daddy, no monster!"

"Not a monster, pal? Hmm … " Gumshoe mused, looking around. "Then could it possibly be … wait a minute!" He threw open his overcoat, holding the giggling boy at arm's length and making a show of scanning him critically. "Wonder of wonders, it's Little Boy Wonder! What's your name, Little Boy Wonder?"

"I'm _Gordy_ , pal! Remember? I'm _GORDY GUM-CHEW_!" The toddler fixed his father with a Look. It was the same frosty stare Maggey gave him now and then—a look that promised punishment to come _and that if he tried to run away, no force in the universe WOULD STOP HER FROM FINDING HIM_!

It was a sight Wright and Edgeworth would have loved to have seen: the sight of the grandest Powerhouse Detective in the Los Angeles district, _quailing in fright_ under the forbidding Look of _his two-year old son_!

"Daddy," Gordy intoned solemnly. "All right, I'm _Gordy Gum-Chew_ , see? You know, you know!"

"You're getting _way_ too good at the Look, pal," Gumshoe conceded with his signature grin. "So whaddaya say, _GORDY GUM-CHEW_? Should we go get some grub?"

"Grub, grub! Gum-Chews get grub!" Gordy howled with delight.

"What's Mommy making for dinner tonight?"

"Weenies! I _loooooove_ weenies!"

Gumshoe chuckled blithely as he picked up the two-year old child and set him atop his broad shoulders. He truly was the luckiest man in the world! "Let's go see what Mommy's got for us."


	2. Episode 1: Gramarye Gordy

_Fun fact: Gordy Gumshoe was born at 8:47 in the morning!_

* * *

** Episode I **  
 **GRAMARYE GORDY**

 _September 27, 2022_

It was a Tuesday night. Despite the final thunderstorms of the rapidly-fading summer, the mood inside the Wonder Bar was jovial and carefree, the lights bright, the décor sparkling and shimmering. And in the middle of it all, the eleven-year old Trucy Wright was putting on a grand show.

Tonight's show was a little different. The Wonder Bar was usually packed at this time of night with high school and college students socializing, doing homework, or simply stopping by for a quick game of _Mario Kart_ and a mug of grape juice. Tonight, the Gumshoes had made a special reservation for an extraordinary, one-time-only event: Gordy's third birthday.

The little boy sat enthroned in his mother Maggey's lap, clapping in delight as Trucy worked her magic. Next to him sat Dick Gumshoe, his arm around his wife's shoulders and holding her and Gordy close, and Phoenix Wright himself. He had removed his signature beanie, and his legendary spiky hair still stood out in a crowd. The twelve-year old Pearl Fey was seated next to him, leaning contentedly on Mr. Wright's shoulder, her arm linked with his. Mr. Nick, as Pearl called him, had been something of a surrogate father to Pearl from the day they'd first crossed paths. Now that her cousin Maya was devoting all of her time to preparing and training to become the Master of the Kurain tradition of spirit channeling, Pearl spent a lot of time away from Kurain Village, taking any opportunity she could to take a train to Los Angeles. For just as she had found a father in Mr. Wright, she had also found a sister in Trucy.

As Trucy unveiled her famous partner Mr. Hat, Gumshoe turned to his wife. "Maggey!" He lowered his voice ominously. _"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"_

"That I should never have gotten you and Gordy those _Pinky and the Brain_ DVDs for your last birthday, Dick?" Maggey replied mildly.

"Uh, well, you see … " Gumshoe considered for a few moments, his huge eyebrows on a journey of their own underneath his hair, appearing _as though he were looking for his brain!_ Maggey waited patiently, loving her husband more for his strange mannerisms which, rumor had it, had begun to rub off on Gordy. Finally, the light bulb switched on, shining bright light over the former detective's head—Maggey was so used to this process, _she could almost see the lightbulb_ —and Gumshoe turned to face her, the expression on his face a little quizzical. "I was thinking the Berry Big Circus never stood a chance once Troupe Gramarye came along."

Maggey laughed, regarding her husband. He was her Everything, her Special Someone (as the young Pearl Fey had put it). Early on, when she was training as a police officer and Gumshoe was her superior, she hadn't thought much of him. He was clumsy, prideful, slow to think, and he wasn't the most handsome man she'd ever known. No, that had been her Dustin.

But she had been a mere twenty-two at the time. Dustin was lost forever, lost to a deranged maniac with a fetish for large bananas. She would always hold part of Dustin in her heart. And then, there was Dick Gumshoe, taking her under his wing and watching out for her. Three murder accusations had humbled her, and as she got to know Gumshoe more, she had begun to see him in a different light.

Gumshoe surveyed his wife's face as she came out from her reverie. "What're you thinking, about, pal?"

Maggey smiled sweetly again. "I love you." She took her husband's face in her hands and kissed him gently.

"Yeah, I know," Gumshoe laughed. "What's not to love about me?" then answered again with a kiss of his own. Another brief, tender moment passed as he looked deeply into his wife's hazel eyes; then he chuckled. "I love you too, Mags. But I'll have you know, pal, _Pinky and the Brain_ was one of _the best shows on all of television_ during the 90's. He scratched his head. "Why, I can still remember that one-hour Christmas special when the Brain decided to … "

"Welcome to my magic show, here at the Wonder Bar, for a one-time-only SPECIAL event!"Trucy Wright announced, sparing Maggey a play-by-play of the _Pinky and the Brain_ Christmas special (which she was _positive_ Dick would be watching with Gordy the next day—that little boy loved watching cartoons with his dad).

"My name is Trucy Wright,"the young magician spoke with excitement. "And I will be your host for this evening. It is my pleasure to introduce to you my magical assistant for this night's event … "The audience waited with bated breath as a drumroll began—quietly at first, then building a slow crescendo toward its peak, where it ended on a single beat like a firework.

" _GORDY GUMSHOE!"_

" _GUM-CHEW!"_ Gordy proclaimed in his piping voice. But before either Gumshoe adult could even _react_ to Trucy's surprise announcement, Gordy had clambered up to the stage where the young Gramarye magician waited. Then, from the second row of seats, came another clear and loud voice which _clearly_ belonged to another toddler. _Wait_ , thought Maggey. _A_ trio _of voices!_

And sure enough, Gordy's friends—the triplets Joshua, Dylan, and Bryce from next door—made a beeline toward the front and climbed onto the stage with him. Gordy looked delighted, jumping up and down, his tiny fists pumped as he welcomed his friends onstage in his own special way. A round of high fives ensued.

" _JOSHUA! DYLAN! BRYCE!_ Come back here _this instant!"_ Jesse Shreeve snapped, rising from his seat. His wife Calleen, however, reached up and gently placed a restraining hand on his arm.

"Jesse, dear," she pointed out. "Don't worry about it. It's Gordy's birthday party, right? He doesn't seem to mind sharing the stage with our boys, see?" She motioned to the stage, where the four boys were running around Trucy, trying to make her dizzy. It was a trick Gordy and his friends often tried with both Maggey and her husband—and, she imagined, with Jesse and Calleen as well—especially when they _knew_ they were in trouble _and would do anything to avoid it!_

"Very well," said Jesse. "But I guess the question is—does Miss Wrightmind?"

"She'll be fine," Mr. Wright assured mildly, turning around in his seat to look at the Shreeves. "My Trucy is used to this sort of thing. She's going to be a world-class magician one of these days."

"Trucy … " Jesse ventured. "She was Zak Gramarye's daughter, wasn't she?"

For a moment, Maggey (who had been following the conversation) thought she saw Mr. Wright's jaw tighten. But he smiled, and true to his name, his face lit up. "Yes, she was," he replied. "She's been in my care for awhile now. I adopted her a few years back, and she's certainly been a light in my life." He gestured with an open palm toward the stage, where Trucy had just given each boy a miniature top hat. "She truly is magical."

"Good heavens! Ladies and gentlemen!" Trucy exclaimed in perhaps more surprise than was necessary (though, of course, she was humoring the children), "it appears I have four magical assistants tonight! Shall we see what sorts of magic they can perform?"

A round of applause swept the room. "Look at Gordy!" Maggey said to her husband, who had taken his camera out and was taking a video of the show. "He looks so happy!"

Trucy returned the microphone to its stand at the side of the stage. "Now then," she said, kneeling down to meet the children at eye level. "I see that each of you has a white top hat!"

"It's sparkly!" Dylan squealed in delight, holding the hat up as if it were one of Cinderella's glass slippers.

"Indeed it is!" Trucy chuckled. She reached behind her back, and her partner Mr. Hat instantly appeared. "Now, for the birthday boy," Mr. Hat said to Gordy. "We need a good magician's name for you. How about … Gramarye Gordy?"

"Grandma Rye magic!" Gordy crowed, taking Mr. Hat's head in his tiny hands and trying to tug it off. "On TV! I see on TV! I love Grandma Rye!"

"Let me go, let me go!" Mr. Hat protested. "You'll set my hand on fire! You'll ruin my _wood_!"

The double-entendre (naturally referring to Pinocchio's wooden anatomy) was lost on the four toddlers, of course, but the adults roared with laughter. The mortified Mr. Wright hid his face in his hands, muttering something about dirty jokes and punishment.

Gumshoe's face was fire-truck scarlet, he was laughing so hard. "Maggey, pal, what do you think Grandma Gumshoe would have to say about that?"

Maggey grinned at her husband, tears of laughter streaming down her face. "We should find out! I can just see it now … " she ventured, picturing her venerable mother-in-law, from whom Dick Gumshoe had _definitely_ cultivated his strange sense of humor!

Gumshoe took his wife in his arms, then cupped her face in his large hands and gave her very enthusiastic kiss—not a long one, but not exactly brief, either. Maggey was surprised but pleased. She reached into her handbag and presented her husband with his favorite candy—a stick of Double-Mint gum; though she fully resolved to give her husband a much nicer reward after Gordy was asleep that night.

Trucy then used her magic wand—a shimmering crystalline piece with a nine-pointed star at its end—and changed Gordy's top hat into his favorite color, purple. Then with Gordy as her assistant, she changed the triplets' hats into their favorite colors as well—green for Bryce, white for Joshua, and red for Dylan, who then jammed his hat so forcefully onto his head that he got stuck and had to wait for his brothers to pull him out.

"Now, Gramarye Gordy," Trucy said. She waved her wand, and—in an instant—a banana appeared in the three-year old's hands. "It's a full, completely ripe, mouth-watering banana, you see? Show it to your friends! Show it to your audience out there … no, don't unpeel it! This one is not for eating."

Gordy looked indignant, but he did as Trucy instructed. "It's a _big banana!_ " he explained to the audience, as if he were an announcer on _The Price is Right_ , and uproarious laughter rippled through the audience again.

"Now say the magic words with me and Mr. Hat," the young woman said kindly, "and I will _slice this banana into pieces!_ " This prompted another fit of giggles from Gordy and his friends.

" _Abracadabra Alaka-ZAAAAM!"_ Trucy Wright, Gramarye magician extraordinaire, waved her wand in a circle with intricate patterns, and then … _BOOM!_ A cloud of multi-colored smoke appeared—wisps of green, white, red, and purple!

"How is it that our boys knew the magic words?" mused Jesse from behind the Gumshoes.

"He's Gordy Gumshoe, see?" laughed Maggey. "Anything is possible with him! Sometimes it's best just not to ask questions." Jesse and Calleen chuckled.

"Very good!" proclaimed Trucy, ruffling Gordy's soft brown hair. "You may eat the banana now. Would you like to share with your friends?"

" _YEAH!"_ yelled the small boy, and he was instantly surrounded by his ginger-headed friends as he unpeeled the banana.

Suddenly, Gordy and his friends yelled in delight. "Mommy, _Mommy, LOOK!"_ exclaimed Dylan (who was _by far_ the most boisterous of the triplets). " _We can SHARE it!"_

"TAKE THAT!" yelled Gordy, showing his audience the banana, which had been cut into slices before Gordy had unpeeled it! The audience clapped exuberantly, Mr. Wright especially so. And as was the way of things with small boys, Gordy, Joshua, Dylan, and Bryce finished off the banana in _twenty-five seconds_.

Trucy continued her performance with the boys occasionally assisting her. First, she cracked three apples in half with her bare hands, then made one of Prosecutor Godot's old coffee mugs float in midair. She stuck a pencil up her nose and pulled it out of her ear, which made the adults very nervous though the toddlers found it _awesome!_ Finally, in her greatest trick, she levitated Gordy a couple of inches into the air.

"Thank you, thank you!" Trucy opined with glee. "This magic show has been brought to you by Troupe Gramarye."She curtsied, her ringlets of chestnut hair bouncing to and fro. "Before we go, however, we have one last trick for the birthday boy. I would like to invite the Gumshoe family up to the stage."

Maggey set her jaw and nibbled at her bottom lip as she often did when she was thinking. She wondered what this trick was about, but … _wait, could it be? I know Dick and I were considering it …_

"All right, folks! Let's sing our special song for the birthday boy! But first, Gordy, will you please give me your hat?"

For a moment, it looked like Gordy didn't want to, but after a gentle prompt from his father, he reluctantly passed his hat to Trucy.

 _You've had a birthday; shout hooray!  
_ _We want to sing to you today!  
_ _One year older and wiser too  
_ _Happy birthday to you!_

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you … Gramarye Gordy!" Trucy announced, waving her magic wand again. This time, a shower of purple and gold confetti burst from the top hat. And then … _wonder of wonders_ , Maggey thought … a small kitten with silky slate-colored fur peeked out of the top hat!

" _A kitty!"_ crowed Gordy, reaching into the top hat.

"Be gentle, Gordy!" admonished Maggey. "It's just a baby."

"Kitty," Gordy said reverently, then gently took the kitten from the hat. It was so small that it fit into the three-year old's hands. With Gordy's best friends surrounding him, he picked up the kitten and cradled it in his arms.

"What are you going to call her, pal?" Gumshoe asked.

"Tiana!" Gordy replied happily. "Like princess and frog!"

Jesse chuckled along with everyone else. "I never did see that one," he admitted. "Though I remember being in college, and my sister wanted to go see _Frozen_ over and over!"

"Oh, come on!" Calleen laughed. "You know you loved it! And I happen to know you have an entire book of piano music from the movie!"

Gordy looked adoringly up at his parents. "I love!" he said. And Dick and Maggey Gumshoe both understood that Gordy wasn't just talking about his new pet. With a love that only a parent could _truly_ know, the Gumshoes gathered their son into their arms for a family hug—Gordy, safe in his mother's arms, with his father's strong arms encircling them both.


	3. Episode 2: Gordy on Edge

_Special thanks to_ _ **JordanPhoenix** for writing such a kind review. It's a real joy to be telling the stories of some of your minor characters from _"Turnabout Everlasting," _as you focus on the big stuff! Seriously, dear readers, go read the story. It's somewhere around 180 chapters long now, but given the time, it's worth it!_

 _Fun fact: By a full 12 minutes, Joshua Shreeve is the eldest of the red-headed triplets._

* * *

** Episode II **  
 **GORDY ON EDGE**

 _November 24, 2022_

"Dick, sweetheart, I realize that it's hard not to cry while you're doing this," said Maggey. "But _for heaven's sake, don't_ try to wipe your tears away. You remember what happened last time, right?"

"You just want to see me cry, pal! Admit it!" Gumshoe looked up from his project and pointed an accusing finger at his wife. "Back me up here, Gordy. Your mama wants me to _CRY LIKE A BABY!"_

The Gumshoes were in the kitchen preparing for the Thanksgiving feast they would be sharing with the Shreeves later that afternoon. Jesse and Calleen were out shopping for fresh fruit to make pies.

Dick Gumshoe was busy chopping vegetables, and he was indeed crying like a baby. Ever since he was a young boy, he had always been given the job of chopping the vegetables on Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, that included onions. _Every single time_ , he had disregarded his parents' (and later, of course, his wife's) advice and tried to dab his tears from his eyes; and _every single time_ , he had paid the price and ended up, well, crying like a baby! And that gave his wife plenty of ammunition for whenever they hosted a dinner party.

" _Hey!"_ Gordy Gumshoe yelled from the living room, where he and the Shreeve triplets were busy playing with Tiana—or rather, _psychologically and mentally torturing her_. They had stuffed the poor kitten into one of Gordy's outgrown _Power Rangers_ T-shirts, and she did not look happy at all. "Don't call me _baby!_ I'm Gordy! _Gordy!_ "

"Your daddy cries like baby!" Joshua Shreeve crowed triumphantly, pointing at Gordy.

" _My_ daddy is cooler than your daddy!" Gordy protested, then regarded the kitten with his mischievous hazel eyes. "Tell them, Red Ranger!"

Forgetting how grumpy she was, the kitten took a playful swipe at Gordy's face, for never before had she been regarded as an actual superhero, let alone the Red Samurai Power Ranger! (For Tiana, flattery would get you everywhere.)

"Cries like baby!" Joshua declared again, this time in unison with Dylan and Bryce. Gumshoe shuddered. _How do triplets_ do _that?_ he wondered.

"C'mon Gordy, let's make a house for Tiana!" Joshua reached for the enormous box of Legos underneath the coffee table, causing Gordy to squeal in protest and dive for the box.

"No! _My_ Lego my Eggos! _Not for you, not for you!_ "

The doorbell rang, a tell-tale chime of four notes, and suddenly a lot of things happened at once.

As Tiana's pet boy made his bid to capture the Legos, his small fist closed over something fluffy, and Tiana herself gave a loud " _MEEEEEOOOOWWW!"_ —shooting toward the front door like a missile. Never in Tiana's life had any of those wacky humans pulled her tail! It was worse than that time Papa Gumshoe had brought home that mangy mutt—and he had _licked her face!_ Thathad scarred her for life! She would get even with Missile—yes, she would—if he dared show his nasty, moist nose in _her_ house again, even _looking_ at _her_ chew toys, leaving his stinky refuseon _her_ lawn, and playing with _her_ pet boy, as if he were allowed to do so! It was an outrage! All respectable cats knew that.

"Come on in, Calleen!" Maggey trilled from the kitchen, where she was now pounding some dough for dinner rolls. However, as she heard Gordy's yell at Joshua, Dylan, and Bryce—she would have to sit Gordy down yet again and emphasize that _sharing is caring_ —followed by what seemed like _the sound of a dying cat_ , the answering cry informed Maggey that Calleen and Jesse Shreeve were … well, it looked like they were still out shopping for fruit.

Maggey gave the dough a final resounding pound worthy of Phoenix Wright's legendary bench slam and fixed her husband with a forbidding stare. " _I'll_ get it," she said. "You stay right there and finish chopping that last onion."

"Will do, Maggey!" Gumshoe told her cheerfully (his eyes bloodshot and face stained with tears), holding up a knife in one hand and an onion skin in the other for her to see. Maggey sighed and flashed her thumb, index finger, and pinky at him—which was, of course, the sign for "I love you." She was rewarded with another huge grin.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw at the front door.

Standing there was a tall and handsome man with muted-silver eyes and dark hair—slicked back, parted at the center, fringes falling around his ears. He wore a magenta suit coat that slightly emphasized his broad shoulders and a frame that testified of many hours of exercise, and a white cravat tied around his neck.

Clinging to that cravat was Tiana, her teeth sunk into the lapels of the magenta coat, her claws shredding the cravat's white fabric. This stranger was so tall and strong! He wasn't quite as strong as her pet boy'sdaddy who cried in the kitchen, but she sensed that the Man in Magenta could have easily shaken her off of his frilly scratching post. Instead, he looked even grumpier now than when he'd walked in the door.

Besides, she was Tiana Gum-CHEW, and she was a princess—and according to Gordy, she was a Power Ranger. And not just any Power Ranger, but the _Red Ranger_! She was the team leader. And the Red Ranger was very cute for a human (and Tiana could have sworn that she heard Mama Gumshoe's heart rate increase whenever she was watching the show with Gordy _and Jayden—the Red Ranger—was onscreen!_ ). Surely the Man in Magenta would have no desire to raise an _"OBJECTION!"_ if she, herself, Princess Tiana Gum-CHEW, most important and precious, wanted to use him as a scratching post. She was a respectable cat; the Man in Magenta surely knew that!

 _But wait! There's more_! Maggey thought, thinking of midnight infomercials and their way of going on and on _and on_ until she wanted to reach through the television set and throttle whomever was speaking. _Not that I was ever_ really _into that stuff_ , she thought. That wasn't entirely true, though. Back when she was in college, and had the moniker of the "Goddess of Misfortune," every single thing she had ordered through an infomercial had broken, exploded, spoiled, or otherwise failed _catastrophically_ within twenty-four hours. She had put a moratorium on infomercials after the incident with the cackling salt and pepper shakers.

Maggey's eyes—hazel, just like her son's—twinkled with amusement as she took in the scene:

Miles Edgeworth glared at her, silently daring her to even _think_ that this scenario wasn't _all her family's fault like it always was_.

Tiana was happily gnawing on the Genius Prosecutor's cravat like it was her _Pink Princess_ chew toy.

Dylan was stretched out on his stomach in the living room. Joshua and Bryce had just emptied Gordy's entire box of Legos on his head and were now building what looked suspiciously like a man with spiky hair on Dylan's back.

And attached to Edgeworth's ankle was Gordy, his tiny body shaking as he—just like his father—cried like a baby.

"Uncle Miles!" Gordy screamed. "Dylan stole my Lego my Eggos! I wanted to build a courtroom for Tiana! She's a princess. _A PRINCESS!_ "

Maggey could have sworn she saw the kitten nod in agreement at Gordy's proclamation. _Must be my imagination_ , she thought. _I really need to lay off the Kool-Aid_. _Seventeen cups a day might be a little too much_.

"Did not!" yelled Dylan. He attempted to rise from his prone position on the floor, but his brothers pushed him back down savagely and continued building their Phoenix model. But Dylan wanted to punch Gordy! How dare he accuse him of stealing!

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"ENOUGH!" boomed Gumshoe, emerging from the kitchen and standing next to his wife. Before he could move any further, though, Miles Edgeworth finally found his voice.

"Gumshoe."

 _Uh oh,_ thought Gumshoe. His best friend hadn't raised his voice. Instead, it was deathly silent, and it had an _edge_ to it. He had witnessed the Genius Prosecutor speak with this voice countless times in court, _utterly destroying_ criminals from the crack-headed April May to the dangerous Matt Engarde. This was going to be bad.

"Gumshoe," Edgeworth said again. "Does the sight of my walking through the door intimidate you? _Do I make you CRY?!_ "

"Well, actually … " Maggey ventured.

" _IF YOU WOULD KINDLY DETACH YOUR KITTEN FROM MY CRAVAT!_ "


	4. Episode 3: Hell Hath No Fury

_** Episode III **  
_ **HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A KITTEN SCORNED**

 _November 24, 2022_

It took another five minutes to pry Tiana's claws from the silk cravat, with much exasperated yelling from Miles Edgeworth, laughing from the Shreeve triplets, and screaming from Gordy.

In the end, desperate times called for desperate measures!

"Dick, we'd better do something _fast_!" Maggey told her husband. She motioned in the direction of the kitchen cupboard next to the sink, where Gumshoe's mix of chopped veggies waited. "Do we have that empty fishbowl?"

Gumshoe nodded quickly, then retrived the bowl and filled it to the top with water. Despite the ridiculously over-the-top adventure taking place by the front door, Maggey smiled shyly as she watched her husband, like she was a little girl out of school. She knew exactly what to do with the bowl, and she loved that she and Dick could communicate on such a wavelength. _Together, we are stronger than the sum of our parts_ , she thought, remembering the line from a book she had once read.

"All aboard, partner?!" Maggey said gleefully as she took the bowl from her husband.

"I sure am, Chief of the Byrdes!" Gumshoe nodded happily, then let out a chicken's squawk. He reached out to take his wife in his arms, causing her to giggle like a middle school girl with a crush— _Do you like me? Circle Yes or No—_ then shied away, snapping a quick salute, her feet together, head held high.

"Not now, sailor: we have _a job to do_!" she yelled. Her toothy grin from ear to ear belied her words.

Gumshoe snapped a salute as well. "Aye aye, sir!" he yelled, than instantly looked off to the side and scratched his scalp in confusion. "I mean, uh, aye aye, _ma'am_!"

"Well then," said Maggey, setting the fishbowl on the white quartz countertop. "Ready!" She and Gumshoe assumed their usual positions opposite one another, looked into each others' eyes, and slammed their fists together in one of the _Power Rangers_ poses Gordy had made them learn. " _It's morphin time!_ "

Sure enough, Gordy perked up upon hearing this and instantly stopped crying. Releasing his hold on Edgeworth's leg, he ran over to his parents and began making martial arts poses. Then—as if on cue—Gordy, his parents, and the triplets yelled in unison: " _FINAL STRIKE!"_

Maggey seized the fishbowl. Too late, Edgeworth realized what Maggey was about to do. "Wh-what—" he stammered, then let out one of the infamous howls he typically reserved for Wendy Oldbag. " _NGHOOOOOH_!" His bellow was _literally drowned out_ as the former waitress brandished the fishbowl and (with a great _SWOOOOOSH_!) completely emptied it over his head.

" _NGHOOOOOH_!" Gordy (having experienced Edgeworth's legendary howl numerous times) yelled, punching his fist in the air.

" _NGHOOOOOH_!" Bryce mimicked with a toothy grin, throwing his fist in the air to touch Gordy's.

" _NGHOOOOOH_!" Joshua cried, his long ginger hair flying loose as he, too, joined Gordy in the Fist of Victory.

Dylan jumped up and down—up, down, up, down!—and slung his arm around Gordy's thin shoulders. " _NGHOOOOOH_!" he screamed in a voice much louder than Gordy and his brothers, also touching his fist to the others'.

Their fists together in what they called the Victory Square, Gordy, Bryce, Dylan, and Joshua cheered. " _YEEEEAAAAH_!"

Princess Tiana, Red Samurai Ranger and self-styled Empress of the House of Gumshoe, had fallen to the ground. Soaking wet, she arched her back into what she hoped was a menacing pose and directed a frightening hiss toward her royal family. How _dare_ they do this to her! This was nothing like the relaxing baths Mama Gumshoe would give her in her royal bathing pool. (Well, Mama and Papa Gumshoe called it "the kitchen sink," but Tiana knew that it was _so much more_ than that!) No, no, no … _this_ was _premeditated_! Why, she could take this to court, and her scratching post of a prosecutor would get the guilty verdict for the entire House of Gumshoe!

To make matters worse, she was still stuck in that dratted _Power Rangers_ tee!

Making a mental note to conspire with Missile later to get back at the Gumshoes (however much she despised the hyperactive canine, she had to admit that he was talented and trustworthy when it came to planning out vengeance schemes), the feline princess sat up and primly wrapped her tail around her front paws. She winked at Gordy, then delivered another venomous hiss for good measure. She rose and sashayed around her scratching post's legs in a figure-eight fashion. Quickly, she decided that the scratching post otherwise known as Miles Edgeworth _needed to pay_ for dropping her so quickly. He could have at least _tried_ to keep hold of her when Mama Gumshoe's tsunami drenched her from head to paws! It just wasn't right. All respectable humans knew _that_.

She began making a mental list of ways to get back at Miles Edgeworth:

Steal one of Edgeworth's white cravats and ensure it ends up in the laundry with his colored clothes.

Leave butt prints all over Edgeworth's leather furniture. Bonus points for framing Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey for this revenge scheme. (She'd heard stories of the crimson prosecutor's butler, Mr. Hendricks, and of how Edgeworth's friends used pretty much _every single square inch_ of the plush suite to _mate_! To hear Papa Gumshoe tell the story, Phoenix and Maya had been like kittens in heat.)

Manage to rig a bucket of water over the bathroom door (get Missile and Polly to help; it would help to have a parrot on her team) to give the prosecutor a surprise shower, _just as he had given her a few minutes ago_. (Well, to be honest, that was Mama and Papa Gumshoe, but Edgeworth was a _conspirator_! He just _had_ to be. Tiana knew these things.)

"I think that kitten is mad at me," Dick Gumshoe ventured. "She's got that _glint_ in her eyes."

"I could have sworn she winked at Gordy," his wife replied. "She keeps doing things like that. Must be my imagination."

His hazel eyes twinkling with promises of mischief, Gordy looked up adoringly at Miles Edgeworth, who had remained silent through their whole exchange, still sputtering and spitting water and shaking himself off. "Uncle Miles!" the little boy gleefully exclaimed, and he and the ginger-headed trio gave each other another round of high fives and made the Victory Square. "Are you gonna give Daddy a … uh … " His forehead knotted in confusion, setting his eyebrows in motion as he worked at the difficult words. "A celery education?"

Edgeworth finally spoke, tapping his finger on his _extremely wet_ coat sleeve, and his tone was black. "A celery education?" he intoned quietly. "What the blazes are you talking about, young Master Gumshoe?"

" _Hold it_!" a small voice rang out before Gordy could answer. The young prosecutor sought out the source of the voice, and his slate-colored eyes landed on a little boy with rusty red hair, midnight blue eyes, and a toothy grin from ear to ear. _Oh, dear Lord, there are three_ _of them_! Dylan, or Bryce, or Joshua (whoever it was) spoke again. "His name is Gordy! He's _Gordy Gum-CHEW_ , see?"

"You said it, Dylan!" crowed Bryce or Joshua. The four toddlers cheered and made the Victory Square again. This time, they ended up bumping into each other instead—an appropriate occasion to start crying, as it were, but they merely fell to the floor, got to their feet again, and brushed each other off.

Edgeworth crouched down so that the young quartet were at eye level. "Objection!" he firmly said to the small brunette. "Gordy. Your last name is Gumshoe. _GUM-SHOE_ , you hear me? Can you say that for me?"

" _Nooooo_!" Gordy screamed with all the strength he could muster, and Edgeworth had a strange feeling of déjà vu as the boy flailed his tiny fist at Edgeworth's nose! Logic dictated that, per his experiences with Pearl Fey's legendary slaps, the best recourse would be to simply back out of the way.

" _Gordy David Gumshoe_!" Maggey cried.

"I don't think so, pal!" boomed Gumshoe, then stepped over and scooped the boy up. "No hitting, see? Gumshoes don't do that."

"And Shreeves most certainly don't either," someone commented. Edgeworth looked around and saw a red-headed couple at the doorway; they appeared to be in their late twenties. Logic dictated that these must be the parents of the mischievous, adorable-but-not-innocent-at-all, red-headed triplets—Bryce, Dylan, and Joshua, he recalled.

"Hello!" called out Jesse Shreeve. His and his wife's arms were laden with brown paper sacks of groceries. Instantly, the triplets swarmed their parents, who had only split seconds to set down their loot before scooping the boys up for a family hug. "I hope you boys behaved yourselves!"

No one noticed the small kitten quietly slinking its way around to Miles Edgeworth's feet and sniffing his polished leather shoes.

Calleen picked up the sacks again and set them on the dining room table. "We decided on another pie," she said, indicating her husband. "Strawberry rhubarb. We wanted something tart."

"That looks so _good_!" Gumshoe said as Calleen removed the pie from the bag and set it on the countertop. He tickled Gordy, sending the boy into a giggling fit, then released him. Gordy immediately ran over to the Shreeve couple, who gave him a warm hug. _We're all family here at the casa del Gumshoe_! the former police detective thought, smiling at all the displays of affection. He wrapped his arm around his wife's waist.

Princess Tiana nudged the damp, magenta fabric of the pant leg aside with her head. _Score one for the good guys_! she thought triumphantly. _This'll be a piece of cake. Miles Edgeworth, you're going_ down! As she waited for the best opportunity to put her plan in action, she amused herself by thinking of some more ways to exact vengeance on the frilly-headed prosecutor.

Follow Edgeworth to his office for a day and meow at him every time he utters the word "verily," "ergo," or "logic." (This one would be potentially problematic seeing as how he was headed back to Europe soon, but Tiana had a _looooooong_ memory!)

Steal something of Edgeworth's (perhaps a _Steel Samurai_ toy!) and deliver it to Wendy Oldbag.

"I'm surprised Cake Me Up Before You Go-Go was open on Thanksgiving," remarked Maggey.

"So was I," Calleen replied cheerfully. She reached into another grocery sack and pulled out a bag of fluffy, white dinner rolls. "And I got these beauties at Stairway to Leaven. Two bucks for a dozen!"

"Upper-crust goods for not much dough!" Jesse wisecracked. His mahogany-colored eyes suddenly zeroed in on the dripping wet crimson prosecutor. "And _you_ must be Miles Edgeworth! Looks like you've had some fun adventures today."

Edgeworth smiled grimly and shook Jesse's proffered hand with a quick jerking motion. "Indeed," he said brusquely. "I'm a little wet, aren't I?" He swung around and pointed at Gumshoe. "And _Gumshoe_ ," he said, spreading his hands, "if you were still a _detective_ , we'd be thinking about your next salary evaluation, wouldn't we?" _Actually, it would be illegal for me to change his salary over a_ poorly-aimed fishbowl! _But there's no way I'm telling_ him _that_.

Before Gumshoe could reply, Gordy's eyes lit up with comprehension and excitement. "Celery education!" he pointed out importantly, then faced his father with an expression reminiscent of Miles Edgeworth's signature evil glare. " _Think about your next celery education_ , Daddy!" he growled in an imitation of Edgeworth's most pompous manner.

The Gumshoe and Shreeve parents roared with laughter, and even Edgeworth cracked a smile. _You see, Mr. Wright, Miss Fey_ : _I really_ do _know how to smile, you know. Those furrows in my brow you_ insist _on bringing up every time we're together result from hard work, tenacity, and_ maturity! _Why, at this rate, people the likes of Phoenix Wright, Larry Butz, and that pathetic wannabe Wolverine will_ never _get any furrows. They are badges of honor. I can smile! I know because I—OUCH_! His mental monologue was cut short when he felt a sharp pain in his right calf. Something was climbing up his leg _from the inside of his slacks_! Did the Gumshoe house have a _spider infestation_?!

That's when the magenta-clad man realized: it wasn't a spider.

It was a kitten.

" _NGHOOOOOGH_!" He let out a scream that would have put Manfred von Karma's scream to shame as hell broke loose once more. " _OUCH OUCH OOUUUUCH_!"

" _NGHOOOOOGH_!" screamed Gordy, Dylan, Joshua, and Bryce.

"What should we do now?" asked Jesse, regarding the Tiana-shaped lump now elevating itself up Edgeworth's leg, now about halfway up his thigh. "And just _how high_ is that kitten going to climb?"

Jesse felt a small hand tugging at his shirt sleeve and looked down to see Dylan. " _Her_ name is Princess Tiana, see?" He proudly gestured toward Edgeworth's thigh, where Tiana was still on the move.

"Maggey!" said Gumshoe urgently. It was time to go, go, _Power Rangers_ on Edgeworth. "The fishbowl, quickly—we have to save Edgeworth!"

" _DON'T YOU DARE_!" roared Edgeworth, his words punctuated by surprisingly high-pitched yelps. " _UNHAND THAT—OUCH!—THAT FISHBOWL AND—OWEEEE!—GET THIS KITTEN—GRRRRR—OUT OF MY—NGHOOOOOGH!—MY PANTS, POST-HASTE_!"

"Good Lord," remarked Calleen, clearly scandalized as she scrutinized Maggey. "Did the demon prosecutor _Miles Edgeworth_ just say he wants you to _get inside his pants_?"

"Mr. Edgeworth! Stop hitting on my wife!" bellowed Gumshoe. He knew, of course, that Edgeworth in fact _wasn't_ hitting on Maggey, but he couldn't resist baiting his friend.

Not after so many celery educations, anyway.


	5. Episode 4: The Colors of Childhood

_Here it is: the final episode of the original version of_ "Gordy Gumshoe Goodness!" _From here on out, the episodes will be all-new. See the author's note at the end for a sneak peek at Gordy's next adventure._

 _An old friend of mine once told me that Play-doh smells like childhood, and I'm inclined to agree._

 _Fun fact: Bryce Shreeve's main hobbies (as hobbies go for a three-year old, that is) are playing with his magic trick set and toy xylophone. He doesn't really know what he's doing when it comes to magic, but he likes playing with the props and pretending to be a Troupe Gramarye magician._

* * *

 _ ******_ Episode IV _ ****  
**_ **THE COLORS OF CHILDHOOD**

 _February 1, 2023_

"And then, Meekins screamed into his megaphone. _'I'm just a little lost lamb! I'm a lamb without a shepherd! A sheep without a lamb!'_ Then Franziska gets out her whip as always … and the next thing you know, Meekins is on the ground, cradling a broken megaphone and remarking that his girlfriend was now a lost lamb, too!"

A wave of unrestrained laughter rippled through the Gumshoe family living room as Detective Ema Skye continued her story. "Hey, Detective!" commented Maggey Gumshoe. "D'you have any more of those new peppermint Snackoos?"

"Of course!" Ema replied. She felt around in her white leather handbag—a present from her older sister Lana, she said—and fished out another bag of the limited edition Snackoos. The drink of choice for the night was grape juice; the only times they got smashed were when there were no children in the house. Little Gordy was downstairs playing with the neighbors' three-year old triplets, Joshua, Dylan, and Bryce. Hence the grape juice, which Phoenix Wright brought them now and then from the Borscht Bowl Club.

"Where do you get all those Snackoos? It's like you have an infinite ammo code," remarked Maggey's husband, Dick Gumshoe. The other occupant of the room, Adrian Andrews, nodded and smiled in amusement.

"It is, isn't it," remarked Ema thoughtfully. "I never seem to run out of them. It's like one of those 'bags of holding' you find in _Dungeons and Dragons_." She paused, considering. "I wonder if it's like Trucy's magic underwear."

"Magic _panties_ ," Adrian corrected her.

"Whatever. Anyway," Ema went on, "it would be really interesting to study and observe the properties of this handbag and see why it gives me unlimited Snackoos. I haven't had to buy a bag since December. It would be _FOR SCIENCE_ , after all!"

Adrian was laughing so hard that she snorted grape juice from her nose. She coughed a few times, then took another drink. "So what happened next?"

"Well," Ema said deviously, her blue eyes sparkling with merriment. "Meekins stands up and brushes himself off, right? Mumbling about lost goats. Then Franny screams something about foolishly foolish fools, pulls out her whip again, and then … his megaphone just _disappears_."

"So where did it go, pal?" Gumshoe asked, rocking back and forth. He took a long pull from his bottle of grape juice, keeping his heavily-muscled arm around his wife's shoulders. "Where's the megaphone?"

Ema put her finger to her lips. The room quieted quickly, the suspense building. _This is better than court_ , Maggey mused, snapping a quick salute. Then Ema smiled, reached into her white handbag … and pulled out a megaphone! Gumshoe could easily see the large crack in the horn.

The longtime group of friends roared again, Adrian so much that she nearly let go of her juice. Upon a glare from Maggey, Adrian placed the bottle on the coffee table in front of the plush rocking chair she sat in.

Ema shushed the group again, enjoying the growing suspense. "I thought I might … " She paused for effect again. " _… give it to Gordy!"_

With a loud sputter, Gumshoe spit out his juice. Predictably, Maggey Gumshoe stood and faced him, giving him the Look. _"DICK DOUBLE-MINT GUMSHOE! You will clean that up, post-haste!"_

"Yes, ma'am," Gumshoe answered glumly.

"Double-Mint? Is that really your middle name, Detective Gumshoe?" queried Ema.

Gumshoe said nothing, wiping up his mess. Fortunately, it had hit the tiled entryway to the Gumshoes' condo instead of the carpet.

As if on cue, Gordy, Joshua, Dylan, and Bryce ran up the stairs and into the living room. "Mommy, we made _art!"_ Gordy proclaimed proudly, and the triplets added in unison, "for _sci-unce!_ "

"For science, huh," Maggey laughed, tears streaming down her face. "Gordy, sweetie, your Auntie Ema brought you a … _WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR FACE?!"_

"Aunt Ema works just fine," Ema muttered. "I hate _The Wizard of Oz."_

Gordy and the triplets crowed, giggling as only three-year old boys could. Each held up a half-empty canister of Play-doh as if they were presenting them as evidence. The little rascals all had multi-colored smudges on their faces, as if they had eaten …

 _No!_ "Gordy—boys—have you been eating … " Maggey closed her eyes, dreading the answer yet knowing exactly what it would be. "Have you been eating Play-doh?"

"Uh-huh!" answered Bryce enthusiastically. All four boys then held up the canisters again. "Green!" proclaimed Bryce, presenting his evidence.

"White!" proclaimed Joshua, doing the same.

"Red!" proclaimed Dylan. Same.

"Purple!" proclaimed Gordy. He cast his eyes around the living room, his eyebrows moving every which direction, then presented his evidence. "All right, I'm Gordy Gum-Chew, see?"

Maggey grinned in spite of herself. "I don't know where he gets that," she told the others, "but he says that all the time." She twisted her face back into what she hoped was an appropriately severe look as she confiscated the decisive evidence. "Gordy, Dylan, Joshua, Bryce … all right, Play-doh is _not for eating, see?"_ She had a sudden thought and snatched the broken megaphone from beside Ema. "How about you boys make a Play-doh house inside of this?"

The boys cheered jubilantly, Gordy the loudest of them all. _Just like his father,_ thought Maggey. _One of these days, Gordy's voice could rival Lotta Hart's screech_ , she thought, an image of the obnoxious journalist Gordy referred to simply as the "yucky cotton candy woman" springing to the forefront of her mind.

Adrian quickly took the megaphone and set it on the coffee table. "Boys," she said in a gentle voice, and the children fell silent. Maggey had seen Adrian put that spell on kids of all ages. "How about I take you to get cleaned up, and _then_ we can play with the megaphone." Maggey gave her a grateful look as Adrian took Gordy's hand and directed the boys down the hall to the bathroom.

Ema leaned forward, her hands on her knees. Gumshoe gave his wife a quizzical look. "I don't see what the big deal is, pal. I ate Play-doh _all the time_ when I was Gordy's age."

Maggey smiled fondly at her husband and raked her fingers through his tangled shock of hair. "That doesn't surprise me, sweetheart."

Gumshoe guffawed, his shoulders shaking with laughter. "You know, pal," he mused, scratching his head. "The different colors really do have different flavors."

"No, they don't!" Ema protested. "They taste like Play-doh; that's all there is to it! Sort of crunchy, depending on how long the lid's been off the jar … hmm." She considered, her head swaying back and forth ever so slightly and tapping her mouth with the pen _she had just fished out of her white handbag!_ "This sounds like it would make a great experiment. _FOR SCIENCE!"_

Maggey laughed heartily. She had some very interesting friends, a very strange husband, and a son who was fast heading that way. And in that moment, she loved them all with such ferocity that she thought her entire being would burst from happiness.

* * *

 ** _Author's note_** _: Please enjoy this sneak preview of the next exciting episode of_ "Gordy Gumshoe Goodness!"

Each of [the Shreeves'] sons had a Blue Badger piggy bank to save money in (these were from the iFly Airlines shop Jesse perused whenever flew out for business; the Shreeves were firm believers in teaching their children how to manage money) and a life-sized plush Blue Badger that now stood next to their fireplace. Sometimes it _really_ creeped Jesse out when he got up in the middle of the night for a glass of milk.

Then there was the Gumshoe family cat, Princess Tiana. Jesse and his family had been at Gordy's last birthday party, of course, when Phoenix Wright's daughter had pulled the kitten out of Gordy's hat, and there was just something about the fast-footed feline that didn't sit right with him. _That cat may as well be the next incarnation of Dahlia Hawthorne!_ Jesse thought, recalling the _State vs. Iris Hawthorne_ trial that had been all over the news. Princess Tiana had a way of appearing in the strangest of places. Going into and out of the House of Shreeve as if she owned the place was one thing, rearranging the refrigerator magnets was just spooky; but _eating the family goldfish_ (which, by the way, had lived in the fishbowl in Jesse's home office, which _he always kept locked_ )? That was just evil.


End file.
